About Me

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Delray Beach, FL, Westport, MA, United States
Undergraduate degree, Colby College; MA in teaching, Columbia Teacher's College; former high school English teacher in three states; former owner of interior design co. with advanced degree from R.I. School of Design. Published first book in 2009 titled, MINOR LEAGUE MOM: A MOTHER'S JOURNEY THROUGH THE RED SOX FARM TEAMS. Her humorous manuscript titled ELDERLY PARENTS WITH ALL THEIR MARBLES: A SURVIVAL GUIDE FOR THE KIDS was published in June, 2014. In 2015 A SURVIVAL GUIDE won a gold medal in the self-help category at the Florida Authors & Publishers Association conference. See website By CLICKING HERE.

Saturday, May 7, 2011


AT&T: "Hello, my name is Melody."

Chas: "Are you a real person?"

AT&T: "Last time I checked!"

Chas: "Well, I've been pushing buttons on your menu for ten minutes before I got anyone with vocal cords."

AT&T: "I'm sorry about that, sir. Would you kindly give me your phone number?"

Chas: "....................."

AT&T: "Now I need your password, sir."

Chas: "........... "

AT&T: "Would you please give me the last four digits of your social security number?"

Chas: "...."

AT&T: "Now I need the answers to a couple of security questions~"

Chas: "I'm not Osama bin Laden!"

AT&T: " I guess we wouldn't be having this conversation if you were! Just a couple more, sir. What was the name of your childhood pet?"

Chas: "Blackie."

AT&T: "What was the street that your wife grew up on?"

Chas: "River Road."

AT&T: "You have answered all the questions correctly."

Chas: "Do I get a prize?"

AT&T: "I suppose I could sing for you, since my name is Melody! Otherwise, how can I help you, sir?"

Chas: "Melody,I have a very simple request. We have your UVerse system for two phone lines and high-speed internet. We are leaving Florida to go north for four months and would like to put our service on seasonal hold."

AT&T: "I'm sorry, Mr. Carey, but I can't help you."

Chas: "Excuse me? We've been putting our account on hold each summer for fifteen years!"

AT&T: "Yes, Mr. Carey, but you didn't have UVerse before this year. I'm afraid UVerse customers will have to do that on-line."

Chas: "But only my wife deals with the computer. I don't touch it!"

AT&T: "Then have her go on-line to AT&T.com and I will walk her through the steps."

Chas: "I don't think she'll want to hear about steps right now. She's in the middle of a project. I'll have to break it to her at another time. Can't you just flick a switch or fill out a form, like the cable company?"

AT&T: "I'm afraid it's not that easy, Mr. Carey. Is there anything else I can help you with?"


Next evening

Chas: "Are you having any luck getting our service suspended?"

Pam: "I've been on for over an hour and opened every possible link under 'UVerse.'
When I hit 'Move or Change Service,' it asks where we're moving to!"

Chas: "This \/!!***! Company is useless! What other links are there?"

Pam: "I've tried 'My Account' and 'Technical Support.' The word 'Suspend' or 'Hold' doesn't exist in their vocabulary. Call them back for specific instructions."

Next morning

AT&T: "Hello, my name is Samantha."

Chas: "Am I speaking to a real person?"

AT&T: "Yes, I'm a real live wire!"

Chas: "I'm so excited for you! I have spent one evening on the phone with your Company and my wife~"

AT&T: "Excuse me for interrupting, sir, but would you please give me your phone number?"

Chas: ".............."

AT&T: "May I please have your password?"

Chas: "...................."

AT&T: "Now I need the account holder's name."

Chas: "Samantha, I AM the account holder, and my name is CAREY and the last digits of my social security number are .... and my childhood pet was named BLACKIE and my wife grew up on RIVER ROAD and I am UPSET! Please HELP ME!"

AT&T: "What can I do for you, Mr. Carey?"

Chas: "I want to put our UVerse service on seasonal hold for four months. I have called your Company once before and we have tried to do it online. Nothing has worked! Can you please give me the steps to follow on your website?"

AT&T: "I'm so sorry for the inconvenience, Mr. Carey. Let me find out how you can proceed."

AT&T Supervisor: "Mr. Carey?"

Chas: "I can't believe it, but I'm still here!"

AT&T Supervisor: "Mr. Carey, I'm the Supervisor, Scott Regan, and I'm here to help you."

Chas: "That remains to be seen! I just want to put my UVerse service on hold for four months while we leave Florida for the summer. It used to be so easy!"

AT&T Supervisor: "Well, I'll find out how to do that. Would you mind holding?"

Chas: "Do I have a choice?"

AT&T Supervisor: "Mr. Carey, are you still there?"

Chas: "Is that you, Scott?"

AT&T Supervisor: "It's me. Thank you for holding. Now, tell me, is it correct that you do NOT have your cable t.v. with UVerse?"

Chas: "That's right, Scott. We live in a condo, and the building is wired for Comcast. We have no choice in the matter."

AT&T Supervisor: "Well, you see, Mr. Carey, right there is the problem! You have to have the ENTIRE PACKAGE in order to put your account on hold for the summer. You have to have phone and high-speed internet and t.v."

Chas: "So what you're telling me is that after two phone calls and an evening on your website, it's impossible to put our account on seasonal hold? What's the minimum we'll be paying each month over the summer?"

AT&T Supervisor: "$69.95."

Chas: "Even though we won't be here? That's outrageous!"

AT&T Supervisor: "I'm afraid so! But that's still quite a savings each month. Then when you get back, you just call us to reinstate full service."

Chas: "As simple as that, huh?"

AT&T Supervisor: "Is there anything else we can do for you?"

Chas: "I'd rather not say."

1 comment:

  1. This reminds me of Chris's recent experience with a major bank in UK on our recent trip. He hadn't received a statement recently, so called to ask for the current balance. They wouldn't release the information because he wasn't calling from his home phone. The suggestion was to set up an Internet banking account. He went through the question routine right up to the last one "what is the current balance on your account."
    While waiting to speak to a real person, he had to listen to music, interspersed with "Have you tried Internet banking, it is quick and easy to set up"
    He didn't get the balance while we were over there, but they did mail the information to our home in Canada. Now he just has to remember it for our next trip!