|Taking some heat - Galapagos, Ecuador|
The guys were all in the back of the bus playing poker. We wanted to be close to the john, since we'd polished off a few beers by the time we stopped for lunch in St. Johnsbury, Vermont.
The women were all up front, and the guys were happy about that! We didn't have to listen to the yapping from Bangor all the way to Montreal.
Sue and I had lunch together when we stopped. Then our monitor, who was a member of our group, told us to get back on the bus. I said to Sue I didn't need to use the bathroom in the restaurant, so I did what I was told. I got back on the bus. I figured Sue'd get on with the women.
One of my real good friends, Tom, was with us and he's a joker. About three miles out of town, he asked where Sue was.
"Up front," I told him.
Tom walked up the aisle, then came back and said, "She's not here. I thought I spotted her running toward the bus when we took off."
My first reaction was that he was being an asshole and he'd hidden her in the nose of the bus or in the bathroom. But I realized she hadn't passed us to get back there. So I took a walk up front.
He was right. No Sue!
I asked the monitor if he'd counted us before we left St. Johnsbury. "All you have is one wife and you can't keep track of her?" he said.
We had to go another mile before the bus could turn around. St. Johnsbury is a one-street town, and when we got back, there was only one sign of life. It was Sue, pacing back and forth on the sidewalk in front of the restaurant.
The first time she spoke to me was three days later, when we got back home.
What husband doesn't check to make sure his wife is on board? He knows I always uses the restroom after a meal, and I sure as heck wasn't going to use the one on the bus, with all those beer-guzzling guys peeing in there!
He's saying it was the monitor's fault. I had lunch with him, not the monitor. I was with him when he told me he was getting back on the bus. That's when I went to the restroom.
I figure he must have been losing at poker because I was the furthest thing from his mind all during lunch. He deserved that "Screw-up of the Year" plaque at the national convention!