I had some responses (LOVE GETTING THESE!) to my post about women's tennis teams. In fact, wives of men who play(ed) on tennis teams sneaked these comments to me surreptitiously. The women were afraid if they put their responses in the "Comments" section at the bottom of my blog, their lives would be threatened.
Among the feedback, a surprising consensus: MEN ARE AS ABSURD WHEN THEY BELONG TO A TEAM AS WOMEN! The following are reports I got, which have yet to be confirmed, until I go undercover with a beard.
There are actually men playing doubles who will argue a call from the other side of the net! This might occur from a crouching position or upright from the baseline (though not too many retirees in Florida can actually stand upright). In other words, they are looking through or across a rope lattice of netting to the opposite end of the court, when they decide the opponents mistakenly called a ball "Out." At which time, a few agile ones may suddenly high-jump the net, demanding to see where the ball landed! That's one sight we don't need in ladies' tennis - vaulting panties. The ladies have RULES that state they must be invited to come to the other side of the net to view a mark. Very genteel!
There are actually men who refuse to play on either the deuce or add side of the court in doubles. This means the captain must reshuffle the lineup, if both partners play the same side. How naive of me! I thought men could take orders.
There are also men's team players who refuse to serve facing the sun. This presents a problem if both partners do not have the proper equipment - sunglasses, hat, or visor - and have forgotten to put sun block on their faces. Dermatologists in Florida have outrageously successful businesses, so I guess someone finally decides to serve!
Another report I got was that some men actually forget the score when they are serving (imagine?). In fact, many start serving, then forget that they've served at all! At which point, the server asks the other three players what the score is, and no-one knows! Loony tunes...
Many male players in Florida can't hear what the server is saying anyway, because they refuse to wear their hearing aids. How many are decent lip readers, you ask? Only one that I know. So the server could announce almost any score that fits the side of the court where he is standing and get away with it.
Finally, my sources reported that if a good golf game comes up, the lineup may be missing a few positions. And here I thought that men didn't need RULES!