Chas: "Are you a real person?"
AT&T: "Last time I checked!"
Chas: "Well, I've been pushing buttons on your menu for ten minutes before I got anyone with vocal cords."
AT&T: "I'm sorry about that, sir. Would you kindly give me your phone number?"
Chas: "....................."
AT&T: "Now I need your password, sir."
Chas: "........... "
AT&T: "Would you please give me the last four digits of your social security number?"
Chas: "...."
AT&T: "Now I need the answers to a couple of security questions~"
Chas: "I'm not Osama bin Laden!"
AT&T: " I guess we wouldn't be having this conversation if you were! Just a couple more, sir. What was the name of your childhood pet?"
Chas: "Blackie."
AT&T: "What was the street that your wife grew up on?"
Chas: "River Road."
AT&T: "You have answered all the questions correctly."
Chas: "Do I get a prize?"
AT&T: "I suppose I could sing for you, since my name is Melody! Otherwise, how can I help you, sir?"
Chas: "Melody,I have a very simple request. We have your UVerse system for two phone lines and high-speed internet. We are leaving Florida to go north for four months and would like to put our service on seasonal hold."
AT&T: "I'm sorry, Mr. Carey, but I can't help you."
Chas: "Excuse me? We've been putting our account on hold each summer for fifteen years!"
AT&T: "Yes, Mr. Carey, but you didn't have UVerse before this year. I'm afraid UVerse customers will have to do that on-line."
Chas: "But only my wife deals with the computer. I don't touch it!"
AT&T: "Then have her go on-line to AT&T.com and I will walk her through the steps."
Chas: "I don't think she'll want to hear about steps right now. She's in the middle of a project. I'll have to break it to her at another time. Can't you just flick a switch or fill out a form, like the cable company?"
AT&T: "I'm afraid it's not that easy, Mr. Carey. Is there anything else I can help you with?"
***********************************************************************************
Next evening
Chas: "Are you having any luck getting our service suspended?"
Pam: "I've been on for over an hour and opened every possible link under 'UVerse.'
When I hit 'Move or Change Service,' it asks where we're moving to!"
Chas: "This \/!!***! Company is useless! What other links are there?"
Pam: "I've tried 'My Account' and 'Technical Support.' The word 'Suspend' or 'Hold' doesn't exist in their vocabulary. Call them back for specific instructions."
*************************************************************************************
Next morning
AT&T: "Hello, my name is Samantha."
Chas: "Am I speaking to a real person?"
AT&T: "Yes, I'm a real live wire!"
Chas: "I'm so excited for you! I have spent one evening on the phone with your Company and my wife~"
AT&T: "Excuse me for interrupting, sir, but would you please give me your phone number?"
Chas: ".............."
AT&T: "May I please have your password?"
Chas: "...................."
AT&T: "Now I need the account holder's name."
Chas: "Samantha, I AM the account holder, and my name is CAREY and the last digits of my social security number are .... and my childhood pet was named BLACKIE and my wife grew up on RIVER ROAD and I am UPSET! Please HELP ME!"
AT&T: "What can I do for you, Mr. Carey?"
Chas: "I want to put our UVerse service on seasonal hold for four months. I have called your Company once before and we have tried to do it online. Nothing has worked! Can you please give me the steps to follow on your website?"
AT&T: "I'm so sorry for the inconvenience, Mr. Carey. Let me find out how you can proceed."
AT&T Supervisor: "Mr. Carey?"
Chas: "I can't believe it, but I'm still here!"
AT&T Supervisor: "Mr. Carey, I'm the Supervisor, Scott Regan, and I'm here to help you."
Chas: "That remains to be seen! I just want to put my UVerse service on hold for four months while we leave Florida for the summer. It used to be so easy!"
AT&T Supervisor: "Well, I'll find out how to do that. Would you mind holding?"
Chas: "Do I have a choice?"
AT&T Supervisor: "Mr. Carey, are you still there?"
Chas: "Is that you, Scott?"
AT&T Supervisor: "It's me. Thank you for holding. Now, tell me, is it correct that you do NOT have your cable t.v. with UVerse?"
Chas: "That's right, Scott. We live in a condo, and the building is wired for Comcast. We have no choice in the matter."
AT&T Supervisor: "Well, you see, Mr. Carey, right there is the problem! You have to have the ENTIRE PACKAGE in order to put your account on hold for the summer. You have to have phone and high-speed internet and t.v."
Chas: "So what you're telling me is that after two phone calls and an evening on your website, it's impossible to put our account on seasonal hold? What's the minimum we'll be paying each month over the summer?"
AT&T Supervisor: "$69.95."
Chas: "Even though we won't be here? That's outrageous!"
AT&T Supervisor: "I'm afraid so! But that's still quite a savings each month. Then when you get back, you just call us to reinstate full service."
Chas: "As simple as that, huh?"
AT&T Supervisor: "Is there anything else we can do for you?"
Chas: "I'd rather not say."
