A Craig's List Tale

Jessie, my hairdresser, and her husband decided to sell their old 36" T.V.   It had been sitting in a corner of their bedroom, unplugged and useless after it had been replaced by a new 60" flat screen on the wall.

"Why don't we list the old one on Craig's List?" Jessie said to Buck.

"You'd better mention in the ad that it weighs a ton and it's bulky.  Whoever picks it up will need a truck."

"OK.  I'll ask $50 and see what happens."

Within 48 hours, Jessie had a response.  Howie said he was willing to pay the full amount and would come over to get it the next day after work.

"You'd better bring someone with you," Jessie said.  "The thing weighs a ton and you won't be able to lift it yourself.  Be sure to have a truck."

On the day of the transfer, Howie showed up alone.  With a pickup...that spilled tables, chairs, mirrors, and shelving over the sides.  Two ropes ran around the sides of the stuff to hold it in place.

"Where are you going with that?" Jessie said to Howie.

"Over to my consignment shop."

"Well, there's no room for the T.V. and besides, who's going to lift it with you?"

Just then Buck came outside.  "How about him?" Howie said.

Buck's truck was parked in their driveway, so there was no denying adequate transportation was available.  "Let's just get it out of here and be done with it," Buck whispered to Jessie.  "I'll pull my truck up to the front door."

The three of them went inside, where Jessie, Buck, and the two girls had positioned the T.V. for take-off.  Howie got under one end and Buck under the other.  "You'll have to rotate sideways to get through the door," Buck warned.

Howie rotated two steps and caught the loose sole of his shoe on the small rug in the center of the hall. The T.V. listed to the side and Howie listed with it, toppling onto the hardwood as the T.V. hit the rug with a soft thud.  A piece of the brown plastic frame broke off and sat next to him.

"Holy crap!  What happened?"

"I'm OK."

"Well, you're going to have to take it as it," Buck said.  "We told you to bring someone with you!"

"I'll still take it."  Howie got up while Buck examined the hardwood.  Both of them wedged their fingers under the console again and began to maneuver sideways.

"Two steps down," Buck warned, leading the way.  Howie made it down the first step but after the second step something blocked his way.  It was one of the white columns that adorned the front porch.  Howie had walked right into it, still holding his end.

"Damn!  What happened?"  Buck yelled, putting the T.V. down again to examine the damage.  Howie put his end down, too.  "That's going to cost you!"

"Yeah, how much?"

Buck examined the chunk out of the column.  It would probably take a trip to Home Depot and thirty minutes to repair.  "One hundred bucks!"

"Alright, alright.  Let's go."

Together they pushed one end of the T.V. up a ramp Buck had attached to the flatbed of the pickup.  He wrapped blankets around the T.V. and tied ropes to cleats inside the truck.

"Where we going, anyway?"

"Over the railroad to the other side of town," said Howie, plopping three fifty dollar bills in Buck's hand.

"Call me in thirty minutes if you don't hear from me," Buck said to Jessie, sliding his cell phone into his pocket and giving her a quick kiss.

The two trucks backed out of the driveway with Howie in the lead.

Twenty minutes later, Jessie got a call.  "Honey, you're not going to believe this, but I'm on 17th Street on the west side and my truck broke down."

"Oh my God!  Are you all right?"

"Yeah, I'm fine.  Howie's shop is somewhere around here, but everything's boarded up and I'm going to need a tow.  I called AAA."

"Where's Howie?"

"He's right here, guarding his property.  Some friends of his are coming to get the T.V.  Call me every ten minutes."

Buck made it home safely two hours later with a new carburetor in the truck.  "Don't ever mention 'Craig's List' to me again!" he told Jessie.