Lyrics are by Sandy. Parody is USCOPYRIGHT:FAIRUSE.
Click on this link to view Sandy singing and Richard on the piano: http://www.youtube.com/embed/TX9EAavxrus
(To the tune of "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer") I made turkey and stuffing
And hot mashed potatoes,
Yams and ham
And fried green tomatoes.
But I had forgot...
What family could have and have not!
Stanley could not have cheddar
'Cuz it clashes with his meds.
Lee's on a low-carb diet,
Couldn't sample any breads.
Anya could not have onions
'Cuz they fill her up with gas.
Elsie could not have eggnog
'Cuz it knocks her on her ass!
I made Martha Stewart's tart,
Sweet and high-falutin'
That six people couldn't eat
Because it con-tained gluten.
Sherman could not have shellfish,
Or he would asphyxiate.
There wasn't one damn item
That could stay on Linda's plate!
My souffle was a masterpiece,
So light and airy!
But my guests couldn't eat it
'Cuz no-one ate dairy.
I broke down and wept.
If you're vegan, then why'd you accept?
Penny got on her podium. On
And on and on she went...
About the evils of sodium (plus
How she's lactose-intolerant).
Peter was prone to bloating,
Couldn't eat the broccoli.
Annie gets acid reflux,
Every time she looks at me!
When I put the turkey down,
Sarah had to say,
"Ever since the world began,
I can't eat no tryptophan."
Everyone at the table, getting
Up in years, you see,
Skipped the meal all together,
Talked about their surgeries!
So I said, "Pass the Beano
And pour me some vino
And screw it, next year,
YOUR house, please!"
