Wedding Gifts

My parents, 1938

This is the season for weddings, and I love everything about them!  I love attending them and watching movies about them.  In both cases, I'm usually in tears.  I don't watch much television but must admit I'm addicted to the TLC shows, "Say Yes to the Dress" and "Four Weddings."  Both of these shows are the perfect combination of my love for fashion and design. They also bring drama among the bride's entourage (who squabble or often reduce the bride to tears of frustration or humiliation); they bring laughs when the bride tries to squeeze into something totally unflattering to showcase her "girls" or her "booty," and in the case of "Four Weddings," they bring competition.

However, there is one aspect of weddings I can't get a handle on.  It's the gift-giving aspect.

Italian bride 2012

Most brides have a registry to make it easy for her guests.  That's a good thing. There is usually a range of gifts on the registry for those who want low-end gifts for a shower or mid-to-high-end gifts for the wedding. That's a good thing.

But I get confused when a bride has registered a majority of either low-end or high-end gifts or not registered at all.

Our niece, 2014

I like to target $100 as an outside price for a wedding gift, but sometimes can't stay in that target zone. For $100 I would have to give five gifts of $20 each on a registry, if the bride has listed mostly low-end.  How are these supposed to be shipped? Separately in dribs and drabs?  I can imagine as she receives the first one, the bride's saying, "That's it?"  How many companies would have all the items in stock to ship together in one big box?  Zero.

If the bride lists only a few items on the low-to-mid range on her registry, they're probably already bought by her guests anyway.  That leaves the high-end items, meaning over $100.  So my budget's shot before I scroll down...but not to the point of looking at the $350-and-up gifts.  The only time I'd ever spend more than $350 on a wedding gift is when it's a very close relative - so close that I'd be bumping into her/him on a regular basis - like in our house!

Bride in Italy, 2012

 And then there's the bride who doesn't register...which I assume means she needs anything and everything. That's great, unless the couple has been together long enough to acquire a household of stuff and you have no idea what the stuff is!  In which case, I usually order something I would like myself and stick to my budget.  If she doesn't like it, the bride can return it herself.  Not very convenient, but then she didn't make it convenient for us, either.

Of course, there's the added cost of shipping and taxes ordering from a registry. I figure it can't be helped and don't factor that in.  It saves us from carrying a gift to the wedding that I purchased locally.

Sure, I know it should be the thought that counts and dollar signs shouldn't be attached to a gift.  But let's get real! When you get a wedding invitation, you're expected to send a gift.  Brides create registries for a reason - and it's not just to let the world know what she needs.  It's also to create parameters for her level of expectation.  The trouble is, her level of expectation may not be mine.

June 26, 1965

What's your average price for a wedding gift?