Most Thankless Job

Few volunteer jobs are as thankless as the presidency of a condominium, especially if there are five hundred or more units and a staff of fifty.   There are tales of police at condo meetings when the residents threaten to attack each other; or hours deliberating a pillow fabric for the main lobby or shade of green for new plantings (everyone's an expert!); or law suits against developers who took off when the building lost its balconies in a hurricane. The following actually happened at a Florida condo recently.

Mr. Habib was Libyan and Mrs. Habib was Italian.  Mr. Habib was a perfect "Jack Sprat," ramrod straight and a size 32 waist.  Mrs. Habib would have been a perfect "Mrs. Sprat," except she had a hump in her back.  Both were in their eighties.

One day the girl who came to clean Mrs. Habib's apartment ran from the building crying.  Later around the pool, Mrs. Habib explained she'd found her husband and the housekeeper in a closet together.   "She's history!" Mrs. Habib said.  Mr. Habib was not.

After a month, Mrs. Habib approached the condo president.  "I want that guard Molly fired!" she said. 

"What happened?" said Mrs. Kaliff, the president.

"I found Molly in the supply closet with my husband."

"Mrs. Habib, I will certainly investigate your accusation.  However, Molly's the head of our security team and has worked here for over twenty years.  She had a sterling resume and I've found her to be extremely trustworthy."

"I want her fired.  Besides, she sticks her tongue out at me when I go in and out of the building."

Mrs. Kaliff had a meeting with Molly and the building manager.  "Please document everything, Molly, every time Mrs. Habib phones you or speaks to you.  I will document her conversation with me.  And inform your entire staff they are not to enter that apartment unless Tom (the manager) is with them."

Another month went by when Mrs. Habib called security one morning.  "There's been a robbery!  Some of my necklaces and earrings are gone.  I always leave them in a certain drawer and they're gone!  The only one who could get in here is that Molly.  I'll bet she'd love to have some of my things."

The manager called the police.  Mrs. Habib filed a report.  Molly had not been on duty the night of the "robbery."  The missing items were found several days later in a locked box under a guest bed.

After another month, Mrs. Habib called security again.  "Help!  My husband is under our bed and I can't pull him out.  Please come get him."

Tom and the security guard left him there.  They figured the poor guy deserved a break.  A family member drove Mrs. Habib to her doctor for evaluation.

Charley and I live in a small condominium complex in Florida, where the residents like each other and one lady who lost her marbles went to live with her daughter.  It's dull by comparison.