Smart Gate

     First there was Global Entry.  Now there's Smart Gate.  Not to be confused with Watergate, but if I thought about it for a few seconds, I'm sure I could come up with some similarities.

     After interviews and background checks, Charley and I were accepted for the Global Entry program.  It's supposed to eliminate our wait in lines at Immigration and Customs when we re-enter the U.S.  But when Charley inserted his hands in the fingerprint machine at Logan Airport, nothing registered.  His fingertips were too dry.  An ICE agent escorted us to a detention room, where we waited forty-five minutes with drug smugglers and black marketers until a central data bank gave assurances that we were do-gooders, not no-gooders.  "Put saliva on your fingertips next time," the agent told Charley.

     This week I got an email from DoNotReply@departmenthumanservices/usgovernment.  There is another quick-entry program Charley and I can apply for.  To Australia.   It's called Smart Gate.

     We've never been to Australia, and although it's highly appealing as a destination, we'll probably never make it.  Our days of being encased in a metal tube for twenty-four hours are over.

     The Smart Gate program is authorized by Australian Customs and Border Protection to allow TRUSTED U.S. citizens to use the Australian automated processing system.  Only under these conditions:

you've been accepted for the Global Entry Program, you travel on a valid U.S. passport, you're sixteen years or older.

       Is Charley with the dry fingertips trustworthy?

     The notification warns that this program is by no means an ENTITLEMENT!  What do the Aussies think Americans feel entitled to over there?   A brewery?   

     The email warns, however, that the eight cities in Australia that employ Smart Gate have limited gates and kiosks operational.  Others are under construction.   Australian Customs and Border Protection apologizes for delays this may cause.