The Ten Most Embarrassing Questions Santa's Been Asked This Year

   

An author's list for Santa

  

     Another year brings another crop of kids sitting on Santa's lap working their Iphones for selfies, pulling on his beard to see if it's fake, or screaming because the gargantuan in red is going to eat them up.
     Here are the ten most embarrassing questions Santa's being asked this year, in ascending order.
Thank you, SaturdayNightLive, for a couple of ideas! Merry Christmas to all, and to all a healthy, happy 2018!


 #1. Why don't you get a cell phone so we wouldn't have to write those long letters and could email what we want?

 #2.  How many hours a day do the elves have to make toys, and do they get paid overtime?

 #3.  Why doesn't Mrs. Claus put you on a diet?

 #4.  Have the animal rights people ever reported you for abuse of Rudolph's nose? Why don't you just get a GPS?

 #5.  Why does your breath smell like Grandma's after she's had the eggnog on Christmas Eve? 

#6.  Who is this Grinch person that mom says is Dad's relative?

#7.  Is there a gift you could bring my mom so I don't get any more brothers or sisters?

 #8.  Is it true if you deny you did something wrong, you can keep your job? My dad just got laid off.

 #9.  Is Roy Moore on your "naughty" or "nice" list?

AND THE WINNER IS:

Ho! Ho! Ho!

#10. What was the toy Matt Lauer gave to the lady who worked with him?