Condo Living

     Charley recently received a call from one of the two condos on our first floor. The woman had been our association president a few years back. "Charley, I want to mention a problem in the front entrance of our building," she said.

     "Oh, what is it?"
     "Well, the wooden frames of the two upholstered chairs inside the front door are knocking against the wallpaper and it might have to be replaced. Someone keeps tilting the chairs inward toward the stairs. They should remain straight."
     "Why are you telling me this?"
     "Carmen (a member of the staff) tells me you walk every other day and use the main entrance."
     "I do walk but I don't touch the chairs. I wouldn't dare! Isn't there a chair rail along the wall?"
     "Yes, but the chairs seem to rub against the wallpaper anyway. The backs of the chairs curve outward above the chair rail. I thought since you're coming back on the Board of Directors, you should be made aware of the problem. Every time I go out my door I straighten them if they're tilted."
     "Well, thanks for the heads-up. I'll make sure I don't go anywhere near the chairs."
     Charley then informed me of the call.
     "I'm the one pulling the chairs out from the wall and tilting them, but don't tell Dolores," I said. "The decorator placed them that way so they wouldn't block the door and besides, they're farther away from the wall when they're tilted. When they're straight, the backs are more likely to hit the wall."
     "Just don't touch them again and I won't tell her," Charley said.
     I wasn't about to let the CHAIR NAZI lecture me! After all, I had owned a design company for almost fifteen years and had seen Dolores' apartment, which was stuck in the seventies.
     The next time I went to the pool I checked to make sure Dolores' car was gone. Then I tilted the two chairs.
     The cat-and-mouse game continued. The chairs were straight against the wall when we went out to dinner.
     The following week I noticed the chairs were tilted away from the wall. I hadn't played the game that week, but someone else had taken up the cause! I figured it had to be the new guy on the maintenance staff, who wanted to enter the building without bumping into anything. I exited the game, knowing it was in good hands.
     The next week I went to the pool and discovered one chair straight against the wall and one chair tilted inside the front door. Someone had a bad case of schizophrenia!
     When we left Florida to go north for the summer, the chairs were in the opposite positions, one straight in front of the door and one tilted on the other side. I love condo living!