Here are some ramblings to let you know I'm sharing many of the same thoughts and feelings you are in these times of uncertainty. Please be well!
Dysphoria: a state of anxiety, restlessness...
Isolation Whiplash: Watching television to see death tolls rise from 6,000 to 8,000 to 10,000...
Cabin Fever: A medical condition of hopelessness, anxiety, irritability, listlessness, food cravings, frequent napping, lethargy, depression, resulting from long confinement or isolation indoors...
Yes, yes, and yes to the all of the above! Still, we get up and make the bed; get dressed; adhere to a somewhat "altered" schedule (sleeping in, breakfast, emails, bills, electronic conversations, take-out lunch, writing/chores to put off writing/alone time, 2 1/2-mile walk, cooking, movie, reading); set daily goals ("maybe I'll sort through the linen closet today"); and attempt to make our brains work. In my head I hear the refrain, "Sure, why not?" as in, "Sure, why not sleep another hour," "Sure, why not skip exercising today," "Sure, why not have another piece of chocolate?" We are in for a long siege.
But I can't give in. There's too much to lose. Thankfully, I have Charley, my husband of almost-55 years, to share the isolation with me; we have our health; we have food every day; we have a beautiful environment where we can go outside together for a walk. We discuss but cannot grasp the enormity of the loss that is going on around us in this country. We worry about our loved ones.
A friend from Massachusetts who organizes "Moon Watch" parties emailed that tonight (TUESDAY, APRIL 7, 2020) there will be a CORONA moon rising around 7:00 p.m. in the eastern part of the U.S. How fitting that it will be pink (and very large)! She sent moon updates as well as a few of her routines, which include planting seeds, walking, feeding the birds, knitting, listening to music, watching cooking shows she never had time for, and baking bread to give to "special people."
She sent an SOS out for dark chocolate with almonds. Woodchucks have appeared in the yard and she fears for her plantings. The cleaning lady is now working from home but sent instructions! Our friend wants everyone to know she is not hoarding toilet paper.
The Italian class Charley and I were taking was cancelled, as was our trip, and we don't feel like practicing our Italian conversations. "Why don't we start a jigsaw puzzle?" I ask him.
"I'm working on my crossword puzzle."
"What would you like to do?"
"Be left alone," he tells me.
"Would you be able to glue the cover back on the remote?" he asks.
"Sure, no problem."
"I'll leave it where you sit."
"I'm sitting here, watching television. Why don't you leave it in the kitchen, where the glue is?"
"Right where you sit. That's what I said."
Keep looking up (at the moon). Yours in Corona times, Pam
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