A Condo Decorates for the Holidays

After Thanksgiving, I asked our new condo manager if there would be any Christmas decorations hung along the street in front of our buildings.

To the north, our neighbors had strung colored lights that transformed the bushes between their two entrances into carousel horses that pranced with the breezes. White and red poinsettias filled urns beneath the columns at their gates.  We remained in darkness.

Along the street on the south side of our complex, strings of white lights wound upward around eight palm trees three stories high.  Under the fronds, the lights were strung tightly together, resembling a circular box encrusted in jewels.  The fronds burst from their box laden with lights. We remained in darkness.

"I don't know.  I'll have to check with the Buildings and Grounds Committee.  What's been done in the past?" the new manager said.

It wasn't his fault.  He was our second manager in eighteen months and didn't want to piss anyone off.  The manager who'd run the place since it had been built had retired after thirty-two years.  Under his watch the Christmas decorations - always the same - had gone up like clockwork:  white lights at the street, around the lamp posts, and on top of the guard house; wreaths on the doors of the buildings and on the columns at the entrance; garlands along the railings; and a decorated tree in the garage.  The green garlands had begun to turn brown and the tree had grown tired, but no-one complained.

"Mr. Thomas bought a lot of new decorations last year," I said, "but I don't know where they are."  Mr. Thomas had been hired next and fired after eighteen months. His decorations from Home Depot - purchased with funds from the annual budget - included three-foot nutcrackers, manger scenes, menorahs, and new garlands.

"I think they were disposed of," the new manager said.  In other words, the staff probably took them home.

"May I put something on the landing of my floor and in the garage and first floor lobbies? I've done that for twenty years."

"I'll go out on a limb and say I wouldn't want to disrupt a twenty-year tradition.  Go ahead."

I put out my bowls of glass balls and wrapped the front staircase in a garland of berries.  The outside remained in darkness.

A week later, the Building and Grounds Committee put up wreaths on the doors of the buildings and on the cement columns at the street entrance.  The outside remained in darkness.

One of the Board of Directors took matters into his own hands.  He purchased $500 worth of white lights, which the staff strung around the lamp posts and guard house.

A week later a menorah appeared on a table outside the manager's office.  A couple of days after that a decorated tree stood on the table.

It looked like the same disheveled tree we'd seen during the thirty-two years our first manager had reigned. Apparently it passed the Building and Grounds Committee's requirements.



Wishing all of my readers happy holidays with those you love and a healthy 2016!

An Imaginary Christmas Letter from a Condo Association President

Dear Condo Association Members,

Happy Holidays from your President and her Board of Directors.  We are hoping for a bright New Year!

As you know, we have had a difficult 2013.  The roof leaks that began in tropical storms this summer have been remedied with an entirely new roof, which fortunately was completed before the storm of the century hit in November.  Roof repair was budgeted for 2015.  The emergency assessment covered most of the cost, with our insurance policy covering the remainder.

The garage floor was painted over the summer.  The result was squealing tires and skid marks, as some of your vehicles slid across the garage.   The floor has been completely repainted and there have been no further incidents involving cars sliding into one another.  The second emergency assessment covered the cost of repainting. However, two of you have sued the association.

The pavers on the driveway were cleaned and resealed under budget. However, the storm of the century in November dislodged some of them.  The company is so busy that they have yet to repair the holes.  We've installed neon cones to prevent any damage to vehicles.  Please practice making "S" turns in the garage, before proceeding up the driveway.

The air conditioning units on the roof, as many of you know, took direct hits in that storm.  The one unit that blew off landed in our neighbor, the Sea Cove's, office, with a resulting law suit.  Fortunately, no-one was injured.  Insurance companies are "talking."

Some of you might have noticed a different "look" to our landscaping.  It is a result of neglect for two months, during which our contractor did not show up and all attempts to locate the owner were futile. We have hired a new landscaper, Green Design.  It is slightly more expensive, with a resulting minimal increase in your quarterly fees.  The Board will follow up with a letter of explanation to all homeowners. We have also hired a detective agency to find the previous contractor. The cost will be covered in the increased quarterly fees.

Finally, I'd like to compliment our new manager, Mr. Howe, for the spirit in which he decorated the lobby for the holidays.  There was a glow in the entry we've never had before, due to the multitude of colored lights.  Some of you requested Mr. Howe remove half of the decorations, especially the gingerbread houses, which were attracting roaches.  I conveyed this wish to Mr. Howe, who removed almost everything and was despondent until the leak occurred from the plumbing fixtures in the apartment above the lobby.  We could have had a serious fire, if the Christmas lights had still been up. Some of you then requested Mr. Howe replace the decorations.  I asked him to put half back up and return the other half for credit.  The Board has vetoed all further expenditures, including replacement of the wallpaper that was ruined in the lobby.

Effective immediately, I am resigning as your President. I will be out of the country indefinitely and thank those of you who supported me.  Peace be with you!
Sincerely,
Ann Beckwith, President