Support Hose

     Do you have sore or tired legs? Recently had a surgical procedure on your legs?
     Then compression hose are for you!
     They come in full or knee-length, different sizes according to your height, and either dress, athletic, or casual styles.
     There's only one problem: getting them on!
     I recently had a minor surgical procedure done above one knee. Since companies don't make support hose for single legs, Laurie, the doctor's assistant, asked what my height was. After I told her, she returned with a pair of skin-toned compression stockings and some thin rubber gloves.
     "These should fit," she said, "They're casual, and not too thick. Please wear them for two days, but take them off at night." She had a smirk on her face.
     The stockings looked like Pantyhose, with the standard construction of a strong elastic band at the waist and nylon covering the hips and buttocks thicker than the leg portion. If these were the thinnest variety, I pictured the thicker ones resembling an alligator's skin. "What are the gloves for?" I asked.
     "You'll see. First, sit down on the examining table so I can help." She handed me the gloves to put on, put another pair on herself, and sat on a low stool at my feet.
     "Many patients think this is just like putting on Pantyhose. It's not. The first thing you do is scrunch up the hose in your hands all the way down to the ankle. That way you can put your foot in without getting it caught."
     She handed me one scrunched-up leg. The flesh-colored nylon that filled my entire hand was at least three times the thickness of a Pantyhose. I slipped it over my foot.  So far, so good!
     "OK, now pull the hose up about six inches. It's much thicker than Pantyhose, so don't expect it to go farther than that. You'll have to straighten it every few inches. The gloves will let you get a firm grip." From the floor she helped the hose go north of my ankle. "You try the rest of the leg."
     The opening for my upper thigh was about the size of my fist. "Are you serious? I have to put that over my thigh? I feel like an elephant trying to get into a pail."
     "Keep working every few inches."
     At first I pulled so hard I thought the stuff was going to rip. Then I jumped down from the table and twisted. I squirmed. I thrashed. I got the damned nylon up to the middle of my thigh but by then sweat was dripping into my eyes so I couldn't see. Laurie was trying to stifle her laughter. She handed me some paper towels.
     "It is pretty funny," I said, sitting back down on the examining table. "I felt a twinge in my abdomen. Maybe I pulled a muscle there I didn't know I had!" The stocking was binding my thigh like a lasso pulled tight. "Maybe I've got some blog material here." I began to laugh with her.
     "Now the other leg," Laurie said. She left me on my own for that one.
     "Can I try it without the glove?" I asked, thinking I'd get a better grip with my very sweaty hands. It felt as if my first leg had a tourniquet around it. I began to feel pins and needles creeping along the seam and looked down to make sure the leg wasn't turning purple.
     "Sure, go ahead," she said.
     I removed the gloves and held them upside down. They dripped moisture as though I'd used them in a tennis match. I scrunched up the other leg all the way down and tried to put the wad over my foot. My hands slipped and my foot got caught half-way up the wad. So much for bare hands! I put the gloves back on, got my second foot in, and jumped down from the table.
     At mid-thigh level on the second leg, I felt as if I'd played three sets of hard tennis. "There's no way the rest of me is going into this opening," I said to Laurie, holding open the elastic that was supposed to go around my waist.
     She just kept grinning from the floor. "Just a few inches at a time," she said.
     My hips weren't the problem. It was my butt. I've never had a small butt, even when I was twelve years old. It's a wonder I was able to get off the ground during all the years I was a cheerleader! You would think the exercises I've done for years at the fitness center and all the tennis I play would have made it smaller.
     I began to do the twist, pulling the nylon over my butt first on the right side, then on the left. Laurie clapped from the floor. Next I pulled up the waistband and jumped up and down. Too bad I couldn't get a few jumping jacks in, but I'd had enough exercise for one day. "Just a few more inches," she said. "Maybe your husband can help you tomorrow."
     That sent me flopping back on the table in hysterics as I pictured Charley stuffing me into a sausage casing from the floor. "Are you sure I can't leave them on tonight?" I asked.
     "Trust me. You won't want to!"
   
   

   
   

How Not to Get Sick(er) in the Hospital

This is a recap of a Consumer Reports article of the same title, February, 2015, pages 32-37.  The information reinforces the experiences I relate in my book, ELDERLY PARENTS WITH ALL THEIR MARBLES: A SURVIVAL GUIDE FOR THE KIDS. In a future blog I'll discuss the physician's "squeeze."

TO INCREASE THE ODDS OF A GOOD HOSPITAL EXPERIENCE:

- Check infection rates at local hospitals before surgery.
   Go to www.LeapFrogGroup.org to check
   hospital performances on
   patient safety, high risk procedures, and intensive care.

- Pick a medical team that will involve you in decisions
   about your care and respect your capacity to make
   those decisions.

-  Make clear to the staff you want to be treated with patient respect and dignity.
   Among 1,200 recently hospitalized people surveyed by Consumer Reports,
   29% said they rarely received respect from the medical staff.  Those patients were
   2 1/2 times more likely to experience a hospital-acquired infection, a wrong
   diagnosis, an adverse drug reaction, or a prescribing mistake.

   Respectful treatment includes:
   Doctors minimizing use of medical jargon or explaining it
   Staffers introducing themselves before doing anything else
   Doctors and staff listening to your concerns, answering questions, honoring your
       wishes
   Medical teams acknowledging mistakes and treating you like a person

   If a patient doesn't think the staff is listening or his wishes aren't
   being met, he'll hesitate to ask questions, point out mistakes, or communicate
   in ways that could improve his situation.

   "The safest hospitals," according to a group of Harvard Medical School doctors and
   researchers as reported in Academic Medicine (journal), "share core values of
   transparency, accountability, and mutual respect."

   "Every day almost 2,000 people on average pick up an infection in the hospital and
   about 1,100 preventable drug errors occur.  Hospital medical errors are linked to
   440,000 deaths annually."

   The greatest danger for a patient in the hospital is NOT 
   infection or drug error.  
   It's REMAINING SILENT!
   Patient (or advocate) engagement
   has been nicknamed
   "the blockbuster drug of the century."

IF YOU'RE A PATIENT IN A HOSPITAL:

- Let a nurse know the extent of your pain.

- Find out what tests and procedures are for.

- Ask about drug side effects and interactions.

- Be a person to the staff, not a diagnosis.  Talk about your family or personal details

  about your life.

- Invite doctors to have a seat and look at them in the eye to initiate direct
  eye contact away from an electronic device or clipboard.

- Bring an advocate with you (family member, friend, health care proxy, 

   health care manager) to make sure you're comfortable, to get information 

   from the doctor written down, to help you make decisions, to speak for you 

   if you aren't able.  The advocate should meet the head nurse, attending physician, 

   therapist, and aide.

- Have an advocate with you when the most hospital errors occur (shift changes 

  and care transitions).

- Keep a journal and pen or e-device for questions and notes.

- Make a list of questions for the doctor when he makes his rounds.

- Ask your questions but try not to alienate the doctor or staff.

- Ask a doctor to repeat himself if you don't understand. 

- If you don't see your doctor or nurse wash his/her hands, make a respectful request

   that he does so.  Gloves don't necessarily stop the spread of infection.

Many thanks to my friend Al West for passing this article along to me!