Is Happiness Based on Our Social Interactions?

How we define our state of mind for the foreseeable future may be a result of our 2020-2021 Covid experiences.

According ro Emile Durkheim, a pioneering sociologist of the early 20th century, "our greatest bliss is found in moments of collective effervescence." There is energy and harmony in a group, large or small, that is sharing a purpose.

Those moments were few during Covid quarantines and their aftermath. Emotions that spread from person to person in a collective (without our realizing it) were missing. Lockdowns and distancing prevented touching and sharing joy or purpose. The number of adults with symptoms of depression or anxiety spiked during our isolation in 2020 (NY Times Sunday Review, July 11, 2021, "The Joy We've Been Missing," Adam Grant, pg. 3).

Fear was the first negative emotion to spread. We hoarded toilet paper, masks, hand sanitizer, and scrubbed our groceries. Depression became contagious through social media. In order not to succumb to negative emotional contagion on the internet (Zoom meetings, etc.), eye contact was avoided. Introverts, as well as extroverts, missed collective effervescence and languished somewhere between stagnation and survival. I was one of those. This is the first blog I've written in several months. 

In May, '21, Charley and I finally joined in collective happiness again. We hugged our loved ones, went to dinner with friends and family (in their homes!), and planned summer trips. Others went to work in person instead of in their pajama bottoms. We had a new understanding of mental health and our individual happiness. We began to grasp that flourishing includes collective effervescence. We witnessed Italians singing together out their windows, residents of New York City honoring essential workers with fireworks, homemade signs, and a march. To be loved, we needed to profess love. We were back on track, social distancing and masks a memory, vaccinations in our arms.

But SURPRISE! Covid had mutated! The Delta variant has increased the probability that those who are unvaccinated and contract the virus will be hospitalized and stricken more severely than those who have been vaccinated. Even the Summer Olympics couldn't distract us from the news of spikes in the variant among certain states across the south and of hospitals that were overwhelmed there. Our collective effervescence turned to a lack of understanding of those who chose to remain unvaccinated. In early August, 2021, one in three Americans who were eligible for the vaccine hadn't received a single dose. Lives, jobs, experiences, money, mental and physical health, were again in jeopardy. Anger can become a contagious emotion. The difference between it and collective effervescence is that anger can hurt oneself or others. We began to don masks, change plans, and worry about our loved remaining safe once again (two of our grandsons were under twelve, too young to be eligible for the vaccines).

Exhausted, despairing rage was finding comfort in turning complex realities into simple "us" versus "them" categories. A study of survey results among those eligible in March '21 found that 22% in the study hadn't gotten the vaccine because of concerns about cost, safety, or systems that already "did them wrong" (NY Times Sunday Review, August 8, 2021, "What to Do With Our Covid Rage," Sarah Smarsh, pg. 4).

Sarah Smarsh in her article, "What to Do With Our Covid Rage," suggests ways to close the gap between those vaccinated and those unvaccinated in this country. A lack of money, power, and education has kept uninsured Americans among the group with the lowest vaccination rate among 22 subgroups examined by the Kaiser Family Foundation (NY Times Sunday Review, August 8, 2021, "What to Do With Our Covid Rage," Sarah Smarsh, pg. 4).  Smarsh suggests we "demand public health MANDATES; we communicate with the cost-anxious and wait-and-see people who remain open-minded despite skepticism wrought by a lifetime of disadvantage; we do good deeds to negate harmful ones, like donating money to a nonprofit health clinic..."

Americans were among the first in the world to receive the vaccines into our blood, thanks to a feat of modern science. W:ith a booster shot awaiting approval for the general public, those who receive the serum will almost certainly survive the pandemic in its present forms to feel the collective effervescence again in a sports stadium, community building, at an indoor wedding, or at a school play. 

On Our Shores

During the night of May 3, 2021, the fourth boatload of Haitians in the new year grounded itself on a beach in southern Palm Beach County, Florida. The beach happened to be in front of our condo building.

Human smugglers ran the boat onto the beach after someone on the vessel had called the Coast Guard. Twenty-nine migrants jumped onto the coral reef in waist-deep water to run to an oceanfront park, where they were detained by the border patrol and taken to a station in West Palm Beach. There they were interviewed and processed for removal. Included in the group was a pregnant mother.

Charley and I didn't hear the Coast Guard cutter deployed during the night or the helicopter (they frequent our shores) or the local police that responded from three communities. We did see the beached 45' fishing vessel and two small Coast Guard boats patrolling in the morning. Five days later, despite daily calls to three government agencies, the boat remained grounded in the same location with flotation devices attached. Ocean Rescue and Environmental Resource Management reported that after the fuel leaked, the boat would be deconstructed and removed. The agency in charge of the boat and its removal was Customs and Border Protection's marine unit.

During a landing on our beach another year, we were startled by an FBI helicopter's searchlights so intense that, although no migrants could be found in our apartment, we ran to close all the storm shutters. The spotlights reached into every room except interior bathrooms and closets. We later learned that FBI dogs scouring the property had found several Haitians hiding in shubbery, under cars, and in ramps to buildings.

Legalized Haitian immigrants account for less than 2% of the U.S. foreign-born population, though in 2018 their number increased to almost 700,000. The 2010 earthquake (displacing 1.5 million), Hurricane Matthew in 2016, endemic poverty, and political unrest have driven Haitian migrants to smugglers who charge thousands of dollars per person to drop them off the Florida shore. They then ram their stolen vessels onto the beach. Others attempt the crossing in sailboats or rafts. 

Haitians in Florida accounted for 49% of all Haitians in the U.S. in 2018. Among legitimate Haitian immigrants 16 years and older, 71% participated in the civilian labor force in 2018, most in service occupations. The same year, 61% residing in the U.S. were naturalized citizens and approximately 21,400 had obtained a green card. Immediate relatives of U.S. citizens or family-sponsored "preferences" (adult children, siblings, or spouses and children of green card holders) were granted easier access without risking the treacherous waters between Haiti and Florida. 

The administrative and legislative measures against terrorism taken by the U.S. government since the 2001 attacks are most vigorous in relation to military reinforcement of the borders via land and sea, use of high-tech E-verification and drones, as well as criminalization of illegal migration. (Information in above three paragraphs courtesy of "Migration Information Source" by Kira Olsen-Medina and Jeanne Batalova, Online Journal of Migration, August 12, 2020)

Haiti's current political unrest centers around President Jovenel Moise's legitimacy. His opposition claims the President's 5-year term should have ended February 7, 2021. Moise claims he has one year left to serve after taking office officially. (Jorge Milian, "29 Haitian Migrants Make Land, Detained," Palm Beach Post, May 4, 2021, p. 1)

Under the 1994 and 1995 U.S.-CUBAN migration accords, any CUBAN who reaches U.S. soil is paroled into the country. The Cuban Adjustment Act of 1966 allowed Cubans to be eligible for a fast track to permanent residency.

Meanwhile, at the U.S.-Mexican border, U.S. agents are overwhelmed by migrants crossing rivers and deserts, often aided by local U.S. police as they step onto U.S. soil. There were 22,500 UNACCOMPANIED minors who crossed from Mexico in early May, 2021, being held in overcrowded detention centers meant for adults. They are eventually transferred to health officials in the Office of Refugee Resettlement. 

May we never forget the sacrifice thousands make every year to become residents of the U.S.A.

Caught in the coral

Flotation devices

Onto the beach

Demolition started

In Retrospect

What a year it's been! 

Looking at photos I took during a walk in Florida in March, 2020, I hardly recognize the street where we walk every day. A year ago, yellow tape roped off beaches and pools; stores and restaurants had "Closed" signs across their doors; masked figures patrolled the streets.

Today, masks still prevail...except on beaches where mobs of spring breakers sway shoulder to shoulder, while police push, spray, arrest, and declare a curfew. Covid 19 will have its way, with a fourth spike threatening.

We haven't been ill, though family members have been. Recently, we lost a brother-in-law to cancer. We have shelter without multiple generations living under one roof. We have food. We aren't sending our children or grandchildren on a forced march across thousands of miles to safety. We haven't been forcibly or unjustly detained or killed.

The horror of the spring and chaos of the summer have given way to a new "normal." This "normal" means I'm not scurrying through the grocery store like a mouse in a maze, although I still wipe every item with a disinfecting square when I get home. We can now sit outside at restaurants. We explore our narrow world inside four walls and our environs within a drive of several hours. We take advantage of the weather to exercise outdoors as much as possible. We no longer run to meetings and appointments throughout the day and have found we enjoy the new pace. We have rekindled our relationships with family and friends on Zoom or Facetime or over the phone. 

As of April 1, 2021, 29% of the U.S. population had been vaccinated with at least one dose of a Pfizer, Moderna, or Johnson & Johnson serum. Citizens numbering 534,387 had perished, alone and unable to breathe. Charley and I were fortunate to receive two doses of the Pfizer vaccine in February in Florida. The future looked brighter. 

Our relationship to our home has altered. We have "nested." A refuge, a prison at times, it has become our space for work, experimental cooking, rest, recreation, and physical activity. Zoom has brought our homes into public view. I look around, tired of the same walls, the same furnishings, the same spaces that have become filled. At least we have walls to look at! We have windows to keep out the elements. We have a bed and light that comes on with a switch, and if the plumbing stops working, we can get it fixed. Our mail comes regularly (slowly); there is water and it's hot.

Domestic harmony has become a priority, as we spend almost twenty hours together each day. Fortunately, we each have private spaces within our home and since we're in Florida, we can always retreat outdoors for isolation!

And yet, it feels like a lost, numb year, particularly for our grandkids, struggling to maintain a flow of learning between a physical classroom and a screen. Distance from our loved ones has made hugs a gift we dream of. Spinning in a tight circle and reading piles of books, I stalled out, unable to start another manuscript. I waited for motivation or inspiration. Spontaneity and joy were missing.

And yet, creativity must remain our salvation - at work, at school, in decompression. I re-energize with my surroundings - the wildlife, the beauty of nature, the love - and look forward to when "normal" isn't an exhausting state of emergency.

1982

Words Matter, Even the Ambiguous Ones

My parents were fond of maxims. One of my dad's favorites was, "Actions speak louder than words."

Mom would counter with, "Think before you speak. Your actions have to match your words."

I learned early, as we all do, that words can shout; they can whisper or sing, bring tears, intimidate, condemn, celebrate, incite, or lift. 

On January 6, 2021, Americans witnessed right-wing groups of extremists attack and breach the security perimeter of the U.S. Capitol in Washington, D.C., forcing a lockdown and halting a ceremonial vote to confirm Joseph Biden's victory over Donald Trump as President of the U.S. While lawmakers hid in locked rooms, Capitol police attempted to hold off the protestors from further ransacking of offices, stealing of Congressional property, and threatened lynching or killing those inside. Defying the Electoral College vote following affirmation by numerous state courts and attorneys-general, the takeover resulted in the death of five Americans.

That morning, former President Trump had spoken to his supporters in a park nearby. "...You'll never take back our country with weakness, you have to show strength, and you have to be strong. We have come to demand that Congress do the right thing, and only count the electors who have been lawfully slated - lawfully slated. I know that everyone here will soon be marching over to the Capitol building to peacefully and patriotically make your votes heard today."

Later, he said, "We're going to walk down Pennsylvania Avenue - I love Pennsylvania Avenue - and we're going to the Capitol. And we're going to try and give - the Democrats - are hopeless, they never vote for anything, not even one vote - but we're going to try to give our Republicans, the weak ones because the strong ones don't need any of our help, we're going to try and give them the kind of pride and boldness that they need to take back our country. So let's walk down Pennsylvania Avenue." (Transcript by FACTBA.SE)

Trump never used the words "storm" or "breach" or "break into" the Capitol. It was a subjective call whether "you have to show strength" and "take back our country" were actually messages condoning crimes of violence. His supporters interpreted his words as a call to action.

Fourteen days later, on January 20, 2021, a 22-year-old Harvard-educated African-American National Youth Poet Laureate named Amanda Gorman wove her words into our collective consciousness at the inauguration of President Biden. Resplendent in a bright yellow coat, her flawless skin glistening and her red velvet headband holding piled plaits, we watched her bubble ring with a caged bird (loaned by Oprah Winfrey as a tribute to Maya Angelou's I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings) lift and descend, riding imaginary waves as she recited her poem, "The Hill We Climb." In a lilting performance she called upon us to unite with her words:

"...We've seen a force that would shatter our nation rather than share it/Would destroy our country if it meant delaying democracy/and this effort very nearly succeeded/But while democracy can be periodically delayed/It can never be permanently defeated.

..."The new dawn blooms as we free it/For there is always light, if only we are brave enough to see it - if only we are brave enough to be it."

 (Excerpts from NPR as quoted in "Amanda Gorman Reads Poem 'The Hill We Climb' at Biden Inauguration" by Amy B. Wang and Stephanie Merry, The Washington Post, 1/20/21)

Yes, words do matter.

The Contradictions of 2020

    *A silent viral killer named COVID 19 claimed over 322,000 victims in the U.S. from January, '20, until this post on December 22, '20.

    *Health-care institutions, our educational system, businesses, and the emotional/psychological well-being of our nation were ravaged by the Virus.

    *Food lines stretched for blocks, even miles, in the richest country in the world.

    *The U.S. became deeply divided politically during the 2020 presidential election.

    *African-Americans Ahmaud Arbery, Breonna Taylor, and George Floyd were killed by white civilians or police without provocation.

    *A Cyber breach, likely initiated by Russia, went undetected for nine months, possibly jeopardizing several government agencies, banking systems, electric grids, transportation, etc.

    *Around 20% of Americans recently polled said they would be reluctant to take a Corona Virus vaccine.

                                                     AND YET...

    *Over 155,000,000 U.S. citizens voted in our November presidential election during a pandemic.

    *Our democratic institutions remained intact during protests and judicial appeals.

    *At least four private U.S. companies developed a Corona Virus vaccine in warp-speed time.

    *A body of expert scientists approved the safety of two of the vaccines before distribution to health-care workers in December, 2020, and the general public thereafter.

    *Americans demonstrated limitless devotion, generosity, and empathy toward those in need. For example, health-care workers struggled to the point of exhaustion and self-sacrifice. Handicapped kids organized toy drives. A national group of women baked lasagna for distribution. Food pantries and church groups served thousands every day. National organizations such as Feeding America and Meals on Wheels became lifelines.

    *On December 20, 2020, Congress passed a $900-billion relief package for direct payments and jobless aid to the needy.

    *American citizens and corporations experienced a social awakening by taking action in support of the Black Lives Matter movement.

                                                       

                                                                   And so,

                                                 2020 LEAVES US WITH A BANG...

                                                 and a whimper.

                                                 MAY 2021 BRING HEALTH AND

                                                 HEALING TO OUR NATION.

                                                     

    

Christmas Music in Early November

On November 8, 2020, I tuned into our favorite radio station in south Florida and Christmas music popped on. I began to reach for the dial, in disgust at the early commercialism, but instead began singing. That's right - I was singing to Christmas music in early November. 

I needed to feel good again, to exhale, to take the stress off my sleep-deprived brain, to erase the relentless, rabid, targeted tweets of 2020 and SING about the time of year that cocoons me like a warm, fuzzy comforter. 

The U.S. had reached a total of 10,000,000 Covid infections. Nearly 240,000 had died. One hundred thousand small businesses had closed since the start of the pandemic. President Trump wasn't conceding the election so that President-elect Biden could begin the transition process, despite Biden's winning enough popular votes (discounting those still being counted) to give him more than the necessary 270 in the electoral college and no evidence of fraud in any state.

I'd barely written anything new in the spring and summer of 2020...I just wasn't motivated. We weren't socializing, we certainly weren't traveling, and we hardly left the house except to exercise. I managed a few humorous blogs and posted some friends' travel stories, while diving into books, cooking, and gardening.

In late October we drove 1500 miles from Massachusetts to Florida to vote in the Presidential election, aware that Florida traditionally went to the Republicans. It did again. We paid $109 each for Covid tests (both negative) so that we could unpack. Our air-conditioning went out in 85-degree temperatures the first night we arrived. Two plumbing items had to be replaced and an outdoor electric storm shutter was stuck. A week later, Tropical Storm Eta hit with 55 mph winds and slashing rains. 

Of all the tragedies emerging, a generation of children teaching themselves on sofas and mattresses had the potential to become the most devastating. Researchers at Brown University projected in May, 2020, that students would return in the fall, 2020, with approximately two-thirds of the reading gains relative to a regular school year and about one-third to one-half of the learning gains in math.  (NY Times, Nov. 8, 2020, Ginia Bellafante, "The Pandemic Widens the Learning Gap," p. 29.)

Still, I sang! I sang off-tune and hummed the words I'd forgotten because I was blessed to have a husband of 55 years who still loved me; because our family enjoyed good health and wasn't devastated by the Covid virus, as so many hundreds of thousands had been; because we had retirement funds and weren't stressed about our living quarters or our food supply; because we had a support system of relatives and friends who enriched us in innumerable ways; because our family had never been forcefully separated or racially attacked.

And I wasn't the only one singing. On November 8th, multitudes in protective masks poured from their doors to chant, to sing, to pop champagne. Our nation would need time to accept, to lessen the rancor, to coalesce, to change the systemic ills, to heal. Meanwhile, I listened to Christmas music and sang. I wondered how many others were singing, too.

 

Aging Hands and Other Mishaps

They say you can tell a woman’s age by looking at her hands. Which puts me at about one hundred!  Let’s just say that my hands will never be models for a sculpture, unless it’s outside a skilled nursing facility.

Earthworm

One of my granddaughters once asked me why I had blue worms on the backs of my hands.  The veins are raised and twisted, in-between the now protruding knuckles. I gave her a lengthy explanation of what veins do, and told her she had them in her hands, too. The only problem was, we couldn't find them!

When I go for blood work, the lab nurse never fails to exclaim, “Oh, these are beautiful!” I look at her like she’s not playing with a full deck. Then she explains that I’ll never be traumatized by having a succession of needles poked into my hands (or forearms) trying to find a vein. And that if one collapses, I’ll have plenty of others to choose from. That’s supposed to make me feel better?  

There are operations where plastic surgeons inject YOUR OWN fat into your hands to plump them up.  The operation is a mere $5,000/hand. But then, I do have some rolls I’d like to get rid of! 

Almost as offensive as the veins are the small round bruises. I’m not even aware of doing it, but if either hand bumps against something, a small purple mushroom appears. My mother used to call them “age” or “liver” spots. She had to take Coumadin to thin her blood, then an aspirin regimen to replace the Coumadin. I don’t know if the blood thinners were related to the spots, but I take neither and my hands always look like a Jackson Pollock painting.  

Tonight my right hand sports a new wound across the thumb. That’s from cutting it on the door latch of my locker, while storing my golf bag. So in addition to the blue worms and purple mushrooms, I have a red badge of courage. The courage was just for going out on the golf course!

Then there’s the lump and blue/black bruise on my shin. I know I’m digressing from the hands, but it’s the same beat-up body. In a tennis match I whacked myself with my racket as I followed through during my serve. An ugly hematoma appeared instantly, and my opponents were gracious enough to let me sit with an ice pack for ten minutes so I could elevate the leg. The lump is gone, but the blue-black three-inch bruise remains. You can actually see the indentation of my racket against my shin. 

 I guess I could sit at the computer all day, or on the sofa. But my blue worms need exercise!