Guests' Sleeping Arrangements

     Charley and I had been dating for six months when I took him to meet my parents at their home in Connecticut. After the introductions, my mother escorted him down to the finished basement. "I made this cot up for you," she said, depositing fresh towels on the bed. "The bathroom's at the top of the stairs."
      Charley joined me later in the den to watch television. "Where are you going to sleep?" he asked.
     "My old bedroom's upstairs," I said, nudging my thigh against my parents' poodle, Cherie, so Charley could squeeze next to me.
     "Is there a guest room upstairs?"
     "Yes."
     "Does this sofa open into a bed?"
     I looked away from the t.v. and directly into his eyes. "It does," I said, grinning.
     "Then why can't I sleep here?"
     "My parents probably wanted us separated by two floors. Besides, this is where Cherie sleeps."
     "Well, now I know where I rank in the pecking order."
     The next morning I asked Charley if he'd slept well. "Not at all," he said. "My bed was right next to the oil burner. Every time it went on, I woke up."
     Somehow, our relationship survived. By the time we were engaged, Charley had moved up to the sleeper sofa next to Cherie.



     My hair dripped into the sink behind me at the beauty parlor. A woman in the next chair explained the preparations she'd made before her granddaughter visited with her boyfriend.
     "My guest room has twin beds. There was no other place for them to sleep, but I figured they'd move the beds together. Since my bedroom backed up to their wall and I didn't want to listen to their shenanigans all night, I put chocks under the feet of their beds so they couldn't move them.
     "Well, that didn't stop them! They must have crowded into one bed and I didn't sleep a wink all night."



     Friends from Massachusetts planned to visit us in Florida. After we'd decided on a date, I sent a list of attractions and restaurants they might enjoy, if they wanted diversions from the beach and pool. Finally I received a call.
     "Pam, we have one concern and I hope you don't mind if I ask you this. Do you have a guest room with twin beds? Our sleep cycles are different now that we're in our seventies and we try not to wake each other up. Also, I've got to warn you that Pete snores. I'm used to it, but I hope he doesn't disturb you. Sometimes even I can't sleep."
     "Oh, don't worry about Pete's waking us! Our master bedroom is on the other side of the condo. And yes, we have twin beds in one guest room."
     "Perfect! Just one last question. Sorry to be such a pain! Is there a bathroom close to the twin bedroom? We have to get up a lot during the night."
     "You'll have a bathroom right outside your bedroom door. And our grandchildren's night light." We both cracked up.

If you have any stories of guests' sleeping arrangements, I'd love to hear them! Please leave them in the "Comments" box below.

A New Year's Letter to My Grandchildren, 2019

Dear D, A, A, J, and B,

Here are some things I wish for you, not just in the coming year, but always:



                                                                                          4 Generations

                   May you enjoy good health and take care of the miracle that is your body;

                    May you never underestimate yourselves but always overestimate the effort
it takes to fulfill your expectations;

                    May you search deep inside to find out what is important and then 
let go of things that are not;

                   May you have enough self-esteem to admit your mistakes 
and correct them;



May you share good times and bad with loved ones and continually 
reach out to show how important they are to you;

May you find one good friend who will last a lifetime;

May you speak your mind with respect and listen with equal respect;

May you never be exclusionary and always complimentary;

May you judge others not by superficial things, 
like the color of their skin or their clothes or dwellings, 
but by their actions;

May you forgive easily;

May you be in awe of the world that surrounds you and 
actively protect it;

 May you one day walk in the shoes of someone less fortunate;


May you spend time with an elderly person to learn wisdom; 

May you learn early that life is not fair, but that you can 
deal with what comes;

May you never feel entitled to material things, 
just because you are lucky enough to have 
generous parents (and grandparents) who would happily grant
your every wish;

May you never display arrogance, 
just because you have achieved successes;

May you discover your unique talents and follow them 
to the end of a dream;

May you develop a love of books and learning for its own sake;

May you find someone who will love you and make you feel 
safe forever, as I did;

And may that person kiss and hug you in front of people 
and always hold your hand!

REMEMBER, EACH OF YOU HAS MAGIC INSIDE YOU!
With lots of love, Grandma Pam

Grandma's Instructions

Several Christmases ago, I had to do some last-minute shopping in Florida with my daughter-in-law. Our son hadn't flown down yet, so we left the kids with Papa Charley. Here are the instructions I left.




                                  DO:

 1.  Become a mannequin for "Beauty Parlor" game.
 2.  Check for BARRETTES in your hair
before leaving the house.
 3.  Lock the bathroom door, if you must use it.
 4.  Put the phone in Hannah's pocket so she can call
me if you fall asleep and begin to drool.
 5.  Put any colored pills on an unreachable shelf so
"the grands" won't mistake them for jelly beans.
 6. Sneeze only if absolutely necessary and into your
elbow or you will be told you are spreading germs
and a demonstration will follow of the appropriate method.
 7. Keep an extra pair of glasses in a locked drawer
and write down where the key is. Story-time follows
snack-time.
 8. Make time-outs a learning experience about
right and wrong, but place the child in a chair that isn't
near wallpaper they can peel.
 9. Use microwave only! No stove-top burners or ovens!

                             

                                    DO NOT:

 1.  Take the children within 50 feet of the ocean.
 2.  Take the children within 20 feet of the pool.
 3.  Reheat pizza for lunch AND snack-time.
 4.  Tell them about starving children around the world to make them finish their meals.
 5.  When Olivia tells you she's allergic to peanut butter,
BELIEVE HER!
 6.  Let the children out of your sight for more than
one minute, tops. That includes toilet time, so pee
frequently and in small amounts.

 8. Assume any sporting event on t.v. will keep them
fascinated for three hours.
 9. Pretend you heard something they said when you didn't.
Your response will make no sense and they'll think
a nut case is in charge.
10. Allow more than 2 carousel rides or Olivia
will throw up.

11. Assume they can buckle their own seat belts, but follow their instructions if you can't figure out how to do it.
12. Frighten them by raising your voice for any reason. When
you think you're whispering, you're actually speaking loud
enough to be heard in a hurricane.
13. Believe them when they tell you they aren't tired
and can skip a nap.
14. Invite them to play chef and let them chop, dice, or slice anything.
15. Give them any sweet after 3:00 p.m.
16. Take them for haircuts without a parent's permission.

               GOOD LUCK! WE LOVE YOU!!

 

Interview with Novelist Wendy Blake Pottinger

Wendy Blake Pottinger  was born and raised in central Ohio before moving to South Florida. Her short stories have been published in several anthologies and she has written for PBG Lifestyle Magazine. Her love of travel throughout the United States was the inspiration for her novel, A GIFT OF GRACE. To  her, life is about family.

Pam: When did you discover you wanted to be a writer?

Wendy:  I have always been a writer. If you don't believe me, just ask to see the many journals tucked into the old trunk in my attic. On second thought, no one should ever read those. I had some issues in the 70's.

Pam:   How did your childhood influence your novel?

Wendy:  Growing up in a small town in central Ohio was wonderful. Life was right out of a Rockwell painting - sledding the hills, skating the ponds in winter; swimming and fishing in the spring and summer; jumping in the leaves, hayrides, and festivals in the fall. Mostly, these moments were made more magical by being surrounded by family.

Pam:  Is the story line in A GIFT OF GRACE a reflection of you or your family?

Wendy:  My novel traces a journey made by three siblings after losing their mother. Many of the stories come from actual occurrences throughout the years.

Pam:  Please explain a little how your story line evolved.

Wendy:  The inspiration for my novel came from one year when my three kids were home from college. I was sad to see how they had grown apart. They all lived within ten miles of each other, but it seemed to me in their independence in life, they had left behind these special relationships. My book is based on a mother who sends her children on a 21-day journey together across the U.S. to spread her ashes.

Pam:  What was the best writing advice you ever had?

Wendy:  In Stephen King's book, ON WRITING, he is explicit in his advice to write what you know. I have to agree. You have to love your characters and your story. If not, why tell it? I have three kids. My daughter did pee in a laundry basket, my son did sprain his glute muscle. Did they enjoy my sharing their stories? Yes, they did. They all had input and opinions through the writing process.

Pam:  So you got additional writing advice within the family!  Do you have specific rituals when you write?

Wendy:  I write daily. Usually mornings, but sometimes I have an idea and I've learned, if you think you'll remember that idea later, you're wrong! So, I may stop during the day and do a quick outline for a particular idea. Since I work on multiple books at the same time (I'm a Gemini), I need to keep the ideas filed with the correct book. I certainly don't want my time traveler to end up in my 1800's veterinarian story. While I might outline an idea, I've never outlined a book. That said, I usually know my beginning, middle, and end. But I love to see where the characters will take me.
           
Pam:  What's currently on your nightstand?

Wendy:  Another piece of advice is: to be a great writer, you need to be a great reader. I have a stack of seven books currently on my bedside table. Some of the authors I'm savoring at the moment are Lee Child, Barbara Kingsolver, David Baldacci, and Debbie Macomber. Also I have local authors' books, including your book, SURVIVING YOUR DREAM VACATION, and JM LeDuc's EVIL AWAKENED.

Pam:  Thank you for taking the time to read the rules and anecdotes in my new travel book! What are you working on at the moment?

Wendy:  My next novel, a love story with a time travel twist, will be out in January. The working title is SHADOW PEOPLE.
               In addition to writing, I love to help new authors. If your readers have any questions or comments or just want to say, "Hi," contact me at: wpottinger3@gmail.com

Pam:  Many thanks for your time, Wendy, and best of luck with the new book!

A Remarkable Bird

     Take a guess:  what bird mates for life, returns to the same nest every year, migrates up to 3500 miles in autumn and again in spring in a state of semi-sleep, and can spend forty hours in the air at 25-30 mph without stopping?

   

Nest on Westport River, Massachusetts

Nest in shallow water on left

     The answer?  An osprey.

     In both Florida and Massachusetts, we live near osprey breeding grounds. We see their nests, the size of queen beds, made from anything the scavengers can lift. They balance on platforms at the top of high poles or on man-made structures like bridges. Some of the platforms have been erected by the Audubon Society.

Osprey nest on Westport River. Note piece of scrap iron hanging from bottom right.

     The Intracoastal Waterway in Florida and branches of the Westport River, Massachusetts (leading into Buzzard’s Bay below Cape Cod), provide supplies of fish, the birds’ only diet.

Buzzard's Bay, Massachusetts

     Their curved talons and an under-surface on their toes consisting of short spines allow them to hold squirming fish while flying. Once when my mother was visiting us in Massachusetts, a foot-long, wet fish landed next to her on the deck. "Why were you throwing a fish at me?" she later asked her son-in-law (Charley).   
      “Evelyn,” Charley said, laughing, “I was working on the other side of the house and wouldn’t have had the strength to throw a heavy fish that far. Besides, I would never throw anything at you! An osprey probably let go.”

     Twenty years ago, the osprey became endangered in the U.S. The pesticide DDT caused the birds’ eggshells to become thin. As a result, the young exhibited symptoms of pesticide-poisoning or never hatched. After DDT was banned in the 1970’s in the U.S., the osprey population rebounded. The population worldwide today is estimated at 460,000. 

Adult osprey in flight

      Typically, two to four eggs are laid in April, always in the same breeding ground and in the same nest. Incubation lasts approximately 38 days. Fledglings may leave the nest at 44-59 days, but will still rely on parental care for six weeks. Sexual maturity isn’t reached till age three. A typical lifespan is seven to ten years, with their only known predators the great horned owl, golden eagles, and bald eagles.

Juvenile osprey in flight

     In shallow inland or coastal fishing waters, winter brings ice in northern regions. Fish head away from the surface, making it almost impossible for osprey to spot them from the air, despite their dense and oily plumage for diving feet-first. The larger-bodied mother leaves the nest first in late August through November, to migrate from North America to the shallow waters of Central and South America. Those residing in California and Florida don’t migrate.The Westport Watershed Alliance, Massachusetts, has placed transmitters on a sample population, allowing GPS signals to trace the migration thousands of miles.

     Ospreys can rest half their brains en route, shutting one eye and letting half their brain sleep. They fly in hot air rising (thermals) for hours without flapping their wings. When they start to lose altitude, they drop, glide, and search for another thermal. Their high-pitched chirps mingle with the wind.

     The father leaves the nest second to join his mate, and finally the juveniles. In late March or early April they make the return trip to breed.

A lone juvenile staring down at me in October from his nest on the Westport River, before leaving to migrate 

    

    

    

    

    

Travel Photos - Children

School boy, Tokyo, 1996    

             

School kids, Ardmore, Ireland, 2017

Campers on Ischia, Italy, 2015

Singing of revolution for us in elementary school's principal's office, Havana, 2018

Cuzco, Peru, 2008

Confirmation Day, Ischia, Italy, 2011

Class studying Monet in Musee D'Orsay, Paris, 2016

Tokyo school children, 1996

Travelogue, Ischia, Italy, 2018

     We have been traveling to the same island of Ischia, off the Amalfi coast of Italy in the Tyrrhenian Sea, for nineteen years. No matter where else our travels take us, we hop a hydrofoil from Naples to relax, climb the hillsides (in a futile attempt to work off the extra pounds), and swim in the Gulf. Our visit usually coincides with our anniversary in June.

A view from our hotel on Ischia toward Naples and Mt. Vesuvius

     Ischia faces Capri but lacks Capri's glitz. It is characterized by fishing villages that have exploded into resort towns. There are no cruise ships or designer boutiques. Towns spill over the lush thermal hillsides into each other and motorbikes veer in every direction on the winding roads lined with fuchsia bougainvillea. Mt. Vesuvius across the Gulf of Naples and Mt. Epomeo above our heads remind residents and visitors that the area is ripe for volcanic activity, as evidenced by an earthquake last year in Casamicciola, one of the towns on our walking route.

Flea market on Sundays, Casamicciola, Ischia

Town of Forio, Ischia

     Our hotel was a former lookout tower sitting on a promontory facing the mainland. In its "-1" rooms in the "basement" are the thermal waters of the spa and all other spa amenities. Rooms are spread throughout the tower, as well as across the hillside. The climb is not easy over the cobblestones and up the stone steps to our room in the forest, but going down takes no time when we're hungry! Dining is al fresco in a separate pavilion overhanging the pool and sea.

Dining pavilion at our hotel and tower above pool.

     After nineteen years, we know the staff and their families well. Each year the same faces return. We experiment with our limited Italian, though they all speak English.  
    At our anniversary dinner under the stars this year Charley raised his glass to mine. "Happy  number 53, honey," he said.

Anniversary cake

     "Oh, I think you've got the date wrong," I replied. "It's not till tomorrow. I thought you knew the day we got married," I teased..
     "Today's not the 26th?" he said, checking his calendar watch. "My watch must be wrong."
     "That's ok. We'll celebrate tomorrow night when it IS the 26th."
         
     "Well, not to ruin the surprise, but like I've done every year, I ordered a cake from the maitre d' for our anniversary. I guess I'll have to change it right away." With that, he jumped up to speak to Salvatore and reschedule the cake for the following night's dinner.
     "No problema," Salvatore said (a familiar response in Italy). "We'll have it ready tomorrow evening, Mr. Carey."
     After dinner we began receiving text messages of congratulations from family, there being a six-hour time lag back in the States. I texted them all back, saying, "Thanks for remembering us, but our anniversary is actually tomorrow."
     "That's strange," I said to Charley. "Why are they congratulating us today?"
     "Well, what does your phone say?" I reopened my phone and read "June 26" on its face - our anniversary! I'd completely lost track of the days. I guess that's what a vacation was for?
     "I'm so sorry, honey! Your watch was right. Happy Anniversary!"
     "Well, you won't be getting your surprise cake till tomorrow night. I feel like the grandfather in the movie 'Moonstruck,' after he sees his engaged granddaughter (Cher) with another man. I'm so confused," Charley said, burying his head in his hands, laughing.
     "You know, we're having a guest for dinner in two nights. Maybe they could hold the cake till then."
     "No way I'm going to ask Salvatore to change it again," Charley said.
     The next night we enjoyed vanilla cream cake decorated in fresh berries while the other guests and staff sang to us. "Thanks, everyone, but it was actually yesterday," Charley explained to the dining room. He didn't tell them why we were sharing our cake with them a day late.


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     Pasquale owns the leather shop in the town of Lacco Ameno, along one of our walking routes. We had purchased several wallets and travel bags from him and returned for Charley's new wallet two days before our departure this year. Pasquale was seated at a desk/cashier table, reading a document.
     "It's my taxes," he said in English. "I pay too much! I have two rental properties and a house. I pay 1400 Euros. Then I pay 400 Euros for garbage collection and 20% of my income to the federal government."
     "Raise your rents," Charley the banker said.
     "I can't. The tenants have low-paying jobs and no-one wants to buy the properties. I made a big mistake. Someone offered to buy my house ten years ago but my wife didn't want to leave. So we added 950 square feet and now we can't sell it. It's too big. The taxes keep going up."
     Charley took out his white handkerchief and rubbed his eyes. "I'm crying for you," he joked, thinking of the taxes we pay in the U.S. Pasquale began laughing.
     On our last day on the island we walked past the leather shop. Pasquale was sitting outside. Charley took out his handkerchief and waved it at the shop owner. Pasquale removed his from a pants pocket and waved it back, laughing with his American friend.

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Just enough room to park!

      Italians park anywhere they like, whenever they like. If there is enough space to fit only the hood of the car, they will edge it in. The remainder might hang out, filling a pedestrian walkway or blocking a street.
     Or they might park at an angle to fit the front left bumper in, blocking cars nearby from getting out. They abandon cars to run into pesharias (fish markets) and pet stores (see above photo).
     A garbage truck in Lacco Ameno stopped horizontally across the road. It blocked both directions of traffic, while recycling bottles crashed into the void of the truck. Garbage bins were next, stinking the street.
     When one lane of blocked traffic began honking, the garbageman yelled, "Quoi??" (What??) "Do you want my job?"